


Ashes

by Phi_JiJi



Series: My A.C.E OneShots [2]
Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Camping, Dreams, Flashbacks, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Shadows - Freeform, Trauma, bad memories, carcrash, slight PTSD, wandering aorund in the woods, woods
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:19:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22406335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phi_JiJi/pseuds/Phi_JiJi
Summary: Byeongkwan went on a camping trip over the weekend, but somehow it made him think about past events again that he was trying to forget
Relationships: Kim Byeongkwan/Park Junhee | Jun
Series: My A.C.E OneShots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1601158
Kudos: 16





	Ashes

It was a normal Friday evening when Byeongkwan was sitting in the backseat of Donghun's car, next to Yuchan who was happily singing along the songs in the radio. The oldest, Donghun and Sehyoon were talking in the front.

Byeongkwan wasn't exactly sure why he agreed to go on a camping trip with the others. It's not that he didn't like them, no, they were his closest friends, but something made him feel uneasy.  
Ever since _that_ day he disliked driving in the car when it was dark outside. Or driving in general just gave him a bad feeling of something happening _again_.

"Kwannie, you're spacing out" Yuchan said, leaning over to the boy, way too much for Byeongkwan, but there was no room to escape.  
"Let me be, I'm tired" he argued, pushing the younger away again.  
"That's your thinking face, not your tired face" the latter said, trying to get more on Byeongkwan's nerves.  
"Yes, I'm thinking about throwing you out of the window" Byeongkwan told him, both knowing that he'd never do it, but showing that he wasn't in the mood for any jokes. 

"Don't be like that Byeongkwan, Yuchan only tries to cheer you up, we planned on having a fun weekend, didn't we?", Donghun said from the front, eying the boys in the mirror for a short while before looking at the street again.  
"Yes, sorry" Byongkwan mumbled, before leaning against the window again and closing his eyes.

When out of nowhere a big truck came by, the lights blinding Byeongkwan, the boy opened his eyes again in shock, first not realizing where he was and his thoughts directly going back to his past.  
Tears were swelling up in his eyes when he felt a hand on his shoulder.  
"Byeongkwan" a voice said, but it sounded so far away.  
"Byeongkwan, it's okay, nothing happend" another voice said. "Donghun, can you park for a second" the voice then said and the next thing that Byeongkwan realized was him being pulled out of the car, just like back then.  
"Jun..." he chocked out, tears falling down his cheeks.

Someone hugged him tighly and his vision slowly got clearer.  
"Byeongkwan, it's fine. You're with us" the voice from before said, only whispering it in his ears.  
He finally snapped back to reality and tightly returned the hug Yuchan was holding him in, quietly whispering soothing things to him to calm him down.  
Sehyoon and Donghun also hugged him tightly and like that the four of them stood there for some time until Byeongkwan's last tear was dry. 

"O-okay, I'm... I'm fine, we can get going again" Byeongkwan mumbled, not daring to look at the other three.  
Those exchanged looks for a secong before agreeing with the boy and all four of them got into the car again.

In order to not fall asleep again he played some games on his phone until he got too bored of it and gave in to play some stuff with Yuchan, who did his best to keep Byeongkwan off of his negative thoughts.  
Byeongkwan couldn't be more happy to have his friends, yet there was a whole in his heart, that could never get filled again, not as long as he would still wander in his thoughts and dreams, which he did ever since it happened and there was no sign that it would stop any time soon.  
Maybe it was also because Byeongkwan refused to go to therapy for it, claiming that it would get better with time, while crying himslef to sleep for almost ever night for the past three years.

Soon they arrived at their destination and Donghun and Sehyoon started to build up the tent and also got some firewood so they could cook and eat as soon as possible.  
Meanwhile Yuchan and Byeongkwan sat down on a blanket and continued talking while warming themselves at the fire. 

After a while of all of them sitting around the fire, eating, talking, laughing Byeongkwan decided he would go on a walk.  
Of course the other asked him if he wanted anyone to go with him but he quickly denied and made his way away from his friends, into the dark woods. He turned on the flashlight on his phone though, so he could see at least something. 

He was walking around for quite some time, by now having some music playing so he wouldn't feel as lonely as he tired to lot loose his orientation.  
Mainly looking at the ground he couldn't help but somehow feel as if someone was watching him, but he just told himself that it was just his imagination playing a trick on him once again.  
But when he heard a sound a bit in front of him, his head snapped up and he looked around in panic, tryind to find the source of it. After turning around completely once he looked back to what was originally in front of him, where suddenly a silhouette apeard further away in the woods.  
In shock, Byeongkwan stumbled back a bit, not letting his eyes break away from the shadow. But somehow the silhouette felt weirdly familiar to him, as if he knew who it belongs to. As if he had known the person for such a long time of his life already, but hasn't seen him in so long. 

That's when it came to his mind. 'He looks exactly like Junhee...'.  
He wanted to call out the name but within a blink it was suddenly gone, making Byeongkwan think, that it wasn't real after all. He didn't even knew what happened to Junhee after _it >/em> happened, as his parent transfered him to another hospital shortly after and Byeongkwan was never able to see him again. Neither could he contact him as Junhee's parents did everything to get their son away from him._

_With a fast pace, Byeongkwan made his way back to the other three, who were still sitting around the fire, telling each othe stories of some sort.  
Silently Byeongkwan sat down again and pulled his knees up to his face where he buried it in, not wanting to think about the past once again. After all, the four of them were supposed to have fun over the weekend and shouldn't be caring about wheter or not Byeongkwan was feeling well. _

_"Is everything alright?", Donghun asked the boy after noticing how extremly quiet he was.  
"No, I just thought..." he began, but stopped himself from saying any more as they propably didn't want to hear it again.  
"You thought what?", Sehyoon wanted to know, eyebrows furrowed.  
"No-nothing special" he tried to shake them off, but all of them already noticed that something was wrong.  
"You know you can tell us Byeongkwan, now, what is it?", Yuchan insisted.  
"I-I thought I saw Junhee" he then quietly admitted, staring at the fire in front of him. _

_"You what?!", the other three, almost yelled, in union, looking at the boy, who already had tears in his eyes, as he also knew that it couldn't be true.  
"I was walking around and suddenly heard a noise and there was a silhouette that looked exactly like him, but it was gone so fast, like there is no way it could've been him" Byeongkwan whined, saying it out loud hurting even more than just thinking of it. _

_The others didn't really know how to react to what Byeongkwan just told them and jsut looked at him, while he tried to hide from their looks.  
"I think... I think I'll try to sleep" he then quickly said and got up to enter the big tent the older two built up.  
He didn't even bother to change clother and snuck inside his sleeping bag and tried his best to fall asleep as soon as possible. _

__This wasn't what he imagined. This was never something he wanted to happen._ _

__He tried to move, wanted to see if Junhee was okay, but he couldn't. He was still blinded by the bright like of the truck that was in front of them only seconds ago._ _

__He tried to say something, maybe like this he could check if Junhee was alright, but not a single sound left his mouth, he couldn't even tell if he opened it in the first place.  
Second after second he could see a bit more, but he still couldn't move and was stuck at looking at the dark street in front of him, turned upside down._ _

__He felt how tears left his eyes, he wanted to scream, but couldn't._ _

__The next thing he saw were the light of an ambulance as well as the sirens of it and the police and the fire department.  
It felt like a weight was lifted from him when they cut open the door and pulled him out of the destroyed vehicle._ _

__He heard people talking to him, wanting him to answer questions, but he couldn't take his eyes off of the car, knowing that Junhee was still in there._ _

__He tried to get away from the people and go to the car, but one of the emergency doctors held him back and brought him to one of the ambulances to take care of his wounds._ _

__"Junhee" he choked out, as the only word he said for the rest of the night, exept one more time, when he saw that they were finally able to also get Junhee out of the car and brought him directly to the hospital so he'd have better chances on surviving as they were close to zero by the time he was saved._ _

__The truck driver was also brought to the hopsital immediately. Byeongkwan was the only one who was still concious at this point, so they tried to find out what happend by asking him, but he didn't say a word so they quickly gave up and brought him to the hospital as well, so he can get checked properly._ _

__Only a few hours later Byeongkwan was allowed to go home again, as none of his physical injuries were severe, but when he asked if he could see Junhee the secretary said, that he was moved to another hospital as soon as he was stable and that she was told not to give any further information to anyone._ _

__That was when Byeongkwan realized that he had lost Junhee, probably forever. But he tried to tell himself, that if he was stable, he must at least be still alive, right? Because knowing that he would've killed him, his bestfriend, his boyfried, his love._ _

__Never seeing him again would kill him as well, but not as much as the thought of Junhee being dead because of him._ _

_Byeongkwan woke up in cold sweat, tears running down his face like a waterfall. A scream, that he didn't notice leaving his mouth woke up the others, making them panic as they didn't noticed what was the cause of it was, but seeing him in the state he was in made them realized that he had another nightmare._

_Yuchan was the first to act and crawled over to him, pulling in a tight hug, doing his best to calm him down.  
He wiped away the tears from Byeongkwan's face and looked at him for a few seconds before going back to hugging him again.  
"Don't cry, you're here. It's not happening again" he told the older, calming him down further until the tears stopped again.  
"Better again?", Yuchan asked, parting a tiny bit with the other.  
"Yeah..." he mumbled.  
"Come on, let's get you in other clothes so you can go to sleep again, okay?", the other the asked, standing up as much as possible in the tent and holding out a hand for Byeongkwan, which he took and left the tent to go to the car to get changed._

_Byeongkwan was able to sleep through the rest of the night without another nightmare and when he woke up he could already smell freshly made breakfast._

_"Good morning" he was greeted by the other three, who were already sitting around the freshly made fire, eating their breakfast.  
"Mornin'" Byeongkwan mumbled as he got a plate with food from Sehyoon. "Thanks" he quietly said and sat down next to the youngest of the groups who was practically breathing away his breakfast. _

_All four of them ate before they talked about the plans of the day: hiking.  
Byeonkwan must admit, he didn't really like to hike, but he loved the nature and photography so hiking would be able to bring those two together perfectly. And it would get his mind off of everything that happened in the past 12 hours._

_They packed everything they needed and also put down their tent, just in case someone would come by, and put it back in the car.  
After that they began their tour through the woods._

_What Byeongkwan first didn't notice, was, that they were going pretty much the exact same route as he has gone last night and subconsciously he hoped on seeing the person, whoever it was, in the daylight.  
Even if it wouldn't be Junhee, he then would at least _know_ that it wasn't him.  
With that he quickly got lost in thought again, thinking about everything they could have it they didn't have that fucking crash that one night. _

_He was so lost in thought that he almost ran into a tree that he didn't saw directly in front of him._

_"Byeongkwan!", a voice yelled, but it wasn't one of his friends voice, as all three of them were ahead of him and couldn't have seen him and the voice came from behind him.  
It made him freeze and look up, looking around and making sure the other three heard it as well and that he wasn't just suddenly hearing voices.  
Only then he realized that the voice was oddly familar to him and he turned around, seeing a person standing between the trees.  
Byeongkwan couldn't belive his eyes and blinked repeatedly to make sure he wasn't making it up._

_"Junhee...?" he whispered, inspecting the blonde guy from afar who came closer every second.  
"Byeongkwan, it's really you" the guy once again said, after getting a better look at the other. A sad smile was on his face as his got closer. _

_Byeongkwan couldn't belive it, couldn't belive his eyes so he looked to the other, to see if they saw him too.  
After Yuchan slowly nodded he turned back again, Junhee now standing directly in front of him. _

_"Hey" he said in a whisper, looking Byeongkwan in the eyes and seeing the tears building up. "I hoped to finally see you again" he then continued, lifting a hand to wipe away the tear that was silently rolling down Byeongkwan's cheek.  
"Don't cry" Junhee the said, he never liked seeing his boyfriend sad and he couldn't imagine how horrible the past three years had to be for him.  
"Are... are you really..." Byeongkwan then managed to say, eyeing the person in front of him, spotting a big scar on the side of his neck.  
"Yes, I'm really here" Junhee confirmed, stroking away some stray hair._

_"Where were you...?", Byeongkwan dared to ask.  
"My parents sent me to a psychiatry after I recovered from the crash" Junhee told him. "I'm so sorry I couldn't message you at all, I-" he tried to explain, but was cut short as the younger of them pulled him into a tight hug, sobbing into his shoulder.  
"I missed you" he cried out.  
"I missed you too" Junhee replied, returning the hug._

_"Last night... was that you?", Byeongkwan then asked the other, not moving his face away from his chest.  
There was a short silence. "Yeah" he then said "but I had to go again, the nurses noticed that I was gone" he continued._

_"And now?", Byeongkwan wanted to know.  
"I'm allowed out now, that's why I went back here, to actually confirm that it's you" Junhee confessed._

_"Why?", the younger asked. "Why did you look for me?"  
Once again, silence._

_"Because I wanted to know if you still love me and if I'd have a chance when I get back to you" Junhee mumbled, blushing._

_"Coming back to me? You would've come back?", he asked, now looking at him again.  
"I would always" Junhee told him , but felt slightly hurt, as the first part of his question got ignored.  
Tears started dwelling up in Byeongkwan's eyes again. But this time, they were tears of joy.  
"Of course I still love you, I never stopped in the past three years" he then told the other._

_A smile formed on Junhee's face. "That's great to hear, because the same goes for me" he said before leaning down and connecting their lips. A feeling both of them missed more that they could've ever imagined._


End file.
